I'm still a skier

Sitting on the lift, freezing, staring at my skis. You can't beat that feeling.

Seriously frickin' cold. Shaking from wind, snow, cold. Ice up my ass. I look like Rudolph. My big red nose showing to light my way. I'm feeling old and sore. My back hurts, my legs are shaking and feel like a combination of jello and wet noodles. I have a headache from the night before that I just can't kick and my previously blown-out and surgically modified knee is swollen to the size of a grapefruit. You can't see more than 20 feet in front of you because of fog and clouds. Bumps in the snow jump out of nowhere cuz the light is so flat. Seriously, the snow STINGS. It's so cold and so windy, the snow feels like thousands of tiny needles on my skin. And I LOVE IT. Every minute of it. I can't get enough. This is one of the happiest miserable days of my life. I love the feeling of the poles in my hands, fingers squeezing in sheer anticipation. I love sitting on the lift, looking down on what I can see, picking my line, looking for jumps, visualizing my movements, breathing every bit of it in. I love moving through the trees so quickly that a wrong turn could kill you. Seriously, Sunny Bono died on the same run at the same resort by hitting a tree. Well I say "fuck you, trees" and ski through them as fast as I can. There's something about being airborn, too. My knee was so swollen than I couldn't spend as much time in the air as I wanted to, but what a feeling. I love skiing. I will ski more. It's crazy. I used to ski over 100 days a year. Did it 5 years in a row. Skied around 80 days a year the previous 3. Now I ski 2. Something must change. I am a skier. I realized that more than ever this last weekend. It's one of the few things in life I can say I'm truly passionate about. So I am here to say to skiing "I will get you and you can't run from me. You can't escape me and I can't escape you. We are soulmates and that will never change." Next time will be even better.

My best Rudolph impression.

Leggo My Ego

I'm trying to finish a book. It's taken me way too long to get through it and I'm not really sure why because I LOVE IT. It's a short, easy book and I'm just not done. Maybe it's Resistance at it's best (read the book and you'll know what I mean). Either way, I got to this section today that defines the ego and the self. It really illustrates a hell of a lot of my inner battles I've been dealing with over the last several months. I like to think that when I actually think about life and my philosophies, I identify much more with my Self. But somehow a lot of the nasty parts about my Ego keep creeping in. One day I'll find a balance. Anyway here it is:

Here's what I think. I think angels make their home in the Self, while Resistance has its seat in the Ego.

The fight is between the two.

The Self wishes to create, to evolve. The Ego like things just the way they are.

What is the Ego, anyway? Since this is my book, I'll define it in my way.

The Ego is that part of the psyche that believes in material existence.

The Ego's job is to take care of business in the real world. It's an important job. We couldn't last a day without it. But there are worlds other than the real world, and this is where the Ego runs into trouble.

Here's what the Ego believes:

1. Death is real. The Ego believes that our existence is defined by our physical flesh. When the body dies, we die. There is no life beyond life.
2. Time and space are real. The Ego is analog. It believes that to get from A to Z we have to pass through B,C and D. To get from breakfast to supper we have to live the whole day.
3. Every individual is different and separate from every other. The Ego believes that I am distinct from you. The twain cannot meet. I can hurt you and it won't hurt me.
4. The predominant impulse of life is self-preservation. Because our existence is phsical and thus vulnerable to innumerable evils, we live and act out of fear in all we do. It is wise, the Ego believes, to have children and carry on our line when we die, to achieve great things that will live after us, and to buckle our seat belts.
5. There is no God. No sphere exists except the physical and no rules apply except those of the material world.

These are the principles the Ego lives by. They are sound principles.

Here's what the Self believes:

1. Death is an illusion. The soul endures and evolves through infinite manifestations.
2. Time and space are illusions. Time and space operate only in the physical shpere, and even here, don't apply to dreams, visions, transports. In other dimensions we move "swift as thought" and inhabit multiple planes simultaneously.
3. All beings are one. If I hurt you, I hurt myself.
4. The supreme emotion is love. Union and mutual assistance are the imperitives of life. We are all in this together.
5. God is all there is. Everything that is, is God in one form or another. God, the divine ground, is that in which we live and move and have our being. Infinite planes by the spirit of God.

I most definitely recommend reading this book. I think anyone trying to find motivation in creativity, work, life, relationships, etc. can find some solace in the book.

Maybe one day I'll actually figure myself out.

A Friendly Holiday Reminder

I've been playing around with Photoshop and my tablet today and thought I would remind everyone of the upcoming holiday season. I hope it helps. =)

Piercing Pic for Nadya

Here it is! The infamous piercing! It's not a very good pic, but I realized I had one so I thought I might as well post it here. I'll take a ridiculously cool artistic pic of it someday and post that instead, but for now, this is what you get.

This is a bonus picture of me drinking "Nuclear Iced Tea". I'm sorry. These pictures come together as one package deal. If you don't like the iced tea pic, close your eyes and scroll past.

That's it. Nothing more.

Behold! Meisha and Her Haircut!

So Meisha got a haircut (and color and piercing) from a new salon in St. George called Sinful Pleasures. The place was awesome and the people are really cool. They gave Meisha a free piercing with the color, so it all worked out. I know my Photoshop work is crappy, but give me a break. I don't know anything and I did these really fast. Good news! I just got my tablet to work with my laptop, so as long as I can find the time, I might actually be putting some art on my blog. That would be neato mosquito! Right?

Playing with colors and what not

Playing with lighting effects. I tried to make it a little 3D, maybe it worked. I don't know.

Playing with colors again. I really liked the reflection in Meisha's glasses

I think this one is really cheesy, but I like it. Everybody likes an evil Meisha

Playing with some filters and stealing art from Giger. I hope he doesn't come kill me in my sleep

We hope you enjoyed the show

LIVE! Fingerpainting update

This is the second and final section of LIVE fingerpainting on Cognitive Hallucinations.  We hope you enjoyed being completely up to date on all the shenanigans taking place.  We also hope you enjoy the rest of the pictures.

My finished fingerpainting

Meisha's finished fingerpainting

Moving to clay sculptures!  Yeah!

Halftime show by Meisha

Meisha striking a pose during halftime!  Oooohhh sexy!

My beautiful sculpture

His name is Larry

He likes batteries.  But he had an accident

Meisha close up.  Just for embarrassment

Building Larry.  He used to have a hat.  I didn't like it.

I sure have enjoyed sharing all the fun times with all the (probably 2) people reading this.  I intended it to be entertaining.  I hope it met all me intentions.  Have a fantastic evening!

LIVE! Fingerpainting!

This will be the first ever LIVE post on Cognitive Hallucinations!  We will be posting pictures LIVE as this world changing event takes place.  Not that anybody is really sitting around waiting for live pictures, but it's something fun to do while you're under the influence of .....uh ......Red Bull and stuff.  So enjoy!  The first ever LIVE post.  Wow!

Preparing some drinks in already drunk vision

Getting ready to fingerpaint!

Red Bull!  Mandatory to any fingerpainting session

AAAAAAArrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhh!

Oooohhhhhhhh!  Painty hands!

Meisha got a little carried away with her painting 

Me....... fingerpainting.  Oh yeah!

Meisha.  Very deep into painting her flowers

My picture

I actually put some of this on my finger and sucked it off.  Gross.  But it KIND OF actually tasted like peanut butter.  I really kick ass.

Darkly.  With peanut butter Stuff'N on her nose.  I don't think she likes it as much as Moki.

Maybe more to come!  Oooooooohhhhhhhhh baby!  Enjoy!

Um....... rocks.

What do you know? I had an adventure today. We decided to take a detour into Moab on our way home and found the detour to be totally worth it. We drove through Arches National Park, saw some big rocks, some arches and a particularly .....uh .....strangely shaped rock. Good times all around. For the all the pictures of our fantabulous road trip home, go HERE.

Pit stop somewhere in Colorado.

Looking as regal as possible atop a snowy cliff.

Standard road trip picture.

Can you see me?

The .....uh ..... rock in question

Ricardo- After he ate shit. There's about a 100 foot drop to his right.

Just me and an arch

Thanks for looking,

Grand Junction and Red Bull

The Pink Bed

The Pink Lamp

Here I sit in a lovely pink bed. Staring at pink walls. Cocking my head to the side and contemplating a pink lamp. Shaking from too much Red Bull. In a house belonging to people I don't know. In a town I've been to only once before. Grand Junction, Colorado- what an exciting place.

So what does this all mean? It means I sold a car to some people vacationing in St. George and somehow committed to driving a Murano 400 miles in the middle of the night to their home. It's funny. They offered to have us (me and Ricardo- the other salesman involved) stay at their home. I tried talking my manager into paying for a hotel room, but, the car business being what it is, they need to save cost wherever possible, so I find myself here, now, sitting in a pink bed, blogging on my iPhone at 2 AM.

Have you ever offered someone some of your delicious lunch because it was a nice gesture to make but secretly hoped the offered party would turn you down, simply appreciating the gesture made? I think I'm the offered party. The difference is that my manager whispered in my ear "Take the lunch, if you don't, you're going HUNGY". Son of a bitch. Now I'm in a pink bed, eating these poor bastard's lunch.

Don't get me wrong. They are very nice people. And the pink bed is quite comfortable. And the pink walls are quite lovely. And I enjoy contemplating the pink lamp. I just don't want to be the weird bastard in the basement, sleeping in the pink room, eating someone else's delicious lunch.

I'll make sure I don't get crumbs in the bed. Good Night.

Super HOT Picture Action Time and stuff

We decided we are so dang good looking that we needed to have a photo shoot. So here it is, a photo shoot. Many many thanks to Tif, who was kind enough to take the pictures. For more of Tif's pictures (any maybe to pay her to take your picture :) ) go HERE. NOW. I decided I probably shouldn't be a model, because I can't take a picture without acting dumb or awkward. I picked out a few of the more normal-faced pictures. Either way, here they are. Enjoy.

Thanks for looking.