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whatiscolor:part1:conceptredefined

So I decided to try painting. Meisha did too -hopefully we'll be graced with her amazing talent soon (no kidding, she's quite amazing). I've never really painted (aside from a random fingerpainting night) and found it ridiculously enjoyable. I have a feeling there will be many more to come. Also, the quality of the pics kinda suck -I have no idea how to take pictures of paintings. I think it looks a lot cooler in person, so if you want to see it, you actually have to hang out with me at my house.

For more detail, go here ------> http://su.pr/2Ez5Fj

This is a video. Watch it. Enough said.

A storm's a brewin'.....

Watch for the ripples ;)

What do you see?

Found this video and thought it to be extremely cool. Good timing and made me feel better about life :) No clue how he did this, but I like it. Just a reminder for the forgetful, remember to turn off the music player on the right. Also, full screen mode is recommended. Hehe.

Reality of Mine

It seems I felt a need to do a little inner self exploration and a lot of self-bashing. If you prefer not to read someone else's negative self talk and profanity, just don't read this post. Have a lovely day.

Somehow I find myself experiencing a great self-loathing at this moment. And for some reason, it seems I feel the need to share that feeling of self-loathing with the "world".

The problem I seem to be facing is that I've devoloped the incredible gift of "bullshitting". Lately, my life seems to have been fueled by a continual addiction to self improvement. I've spent much of the last year and a half in a very selfish place. I've burned myself out on "self help" books. I've tried to understand the universe and everything in it. I've even convinced myself that I've created my universe and everything in it. I've tried so hard to "fix" myself that I've fucked up almost every other aspect of my life.

I can't be honest with anyone, including myself. Part of the reason for the bullshit and lack of honesty is simply because I don't know what the truth is. Somehow I think if I continually look within, I'll eventually "find" myself. Because I don't know who I am or what I'm really about or what I really want, I simply bullshit my way through it. I come up with a new project and a new way to work on myself. I tell myself "This is what I want and who I want to be." Only to wake up the next day or week or month or year realizing two things: 1) I'm not anywhere close to being on that path I'd previously chosen for myself. 2) I've once again morphed into a completely different person and don't want to be on that path anymore. And my life changes all over again. Every time I tell other people or myself I want to change or be someone or something else it's always true. At least at that time. Hence the bullshit. Towards myself and any other person dragged into my drama.

My perpetual self-loathing is driven by the fact that I don't ever think of anyone besides myself. My primary thought in any action I take always seems to be "How will this affect me?" or "How can I gain from this particular situation?" I'm sorry.

I have an incredible desire to be there for others, but where does it come from? Most of the time, I think it's simply so I can be the fucking "hero". It seems I only like to help others so I can receive further self-fulfillment through the praise of those around me. I like to get attention. Way more than I like to give it. The rediculous part about my desire to be there for others is the fact that I continually fail at "being there" for the most important person in my life because I always seem to be focused on being there for everyone else, no matter how fake I have to be, just so I can receive my fulfillment.

I withhold opinions. This is done for one or both of two reasons: 1) I tend to allow others to do the thinking for me and don't ever allow myself to think and have an opinion unless I've stolen it from someone else's free thinking. 2) I don't allow myself to be "myself". I cater my opinions based on those around me. This is why most of my family may never know me. I don't think I'll ever be able to have a fully honest conversation with most of my family because I will always have to adjust my language and voiced opinions in a manner that is "non-offensive". I don't enjoy offending others. This is in large part why I flat out avoid it.

I don't really know why I'm typing this and can't really even tell if it feels good to release these thoughts. I don't even know if all these thoughts are really even mine. I should be sleeping. I was extremely tired. Now, who knows.

I find that I become uncontrollably tired during situations in which full communication is required. I will literally fall asleep while standing or sitting up. My eyes become so dry and so heavy that it becomes fully impossible to keep them open. My mind shuts down. My body shuts down. Most of the time these times involve a conversation about someone besides myself. Do other people just bore me? The way to wake myself up- change the subject. To something about me. How sick is that? Am I really that self-obsessed? It would appear so.

I've recently made one of the biggest decisions of my life and it seems I can do nothing but put up road blocks for myself. I start to move in the right direction, then I resist. Sometimes it seems completely within my control and entirely my choice to do such a thing and other times it seems I subconsciously create situations. I am the greatest inhibitor of my growth and forward progression. I like to see myself as fully committed to my cause, but I can't think of the last time I fully committed to anything and succeeded. I would like to be an entrepreneur and an artist and a writer and a web designer and a graphic design and a professional skier and a musician and a world traveler and the list goes on and on, but I haven't fully succeeded in any of those things. I'm starting to lose faith in myself.

I don't think I'm looking for pity or advice here. I think I'm hoping that by releasing my bullshit into physical form, I will free it from within and move on, but who knows. Maybe I'm just stirring the pot.

Demon Kidnappers and Such

Lonely Zion Adventure Day

So I ended up alone on Sunday. I asked myself "What do I want to do with my alone time?" I decided to hike miles upon miles in Zion. Some of it in the (very) dark. I also decided to chronicle my little adventure. Once it got dark, I thought to myself "It's a full moon. It will be bright outside." I thought wrong. The moon doesn't come out till really late in Zion and Angel's Landing is a little sketchy coming down in the dark. But I'm alive and typing. So... look at a slide show if you want. I took quite a few pics, so you might want to look at it when you're bored. Or you might want to look at it if you want to procrastinate. It's up to you. And sorry for all the cheesy pics of myself taken by myself. My mom says just nature pictures are boring. "They need people in them." She says. So Mom, there's people in these nature pictures.

The Vibram Experiments - Part 3 - Pine Creek

We actually had a real adventure today! We hiked (and swam and rappelled and climbed) Pine Creek in Zion today. May I be the first to say that I feel my (and especially Meisha's) hardcore level jumped a few notches today. Ok, so I'm not really that cocky, but we really had a lot of fun and the sights we saw today were absolutely breathtaking. Because we were swimming and in water most of the time, we could only take a cheap little disposable camera. So sorry, the pictures are quite poor and grainy. We'll have to figure a way to get the good camera through next time. Either way, without further adieu, the pics:

Meisha. Posing. Before things got cold and wet.

This is Kevan. He works with me. At Stephen Wade. He's doing something with the rope. I believe I took this picture because the sunlight in front of him looked much cooler in person.

Meisha and me trekking through the waters, looking as official as possible.

Here we are again, making a bold attempt to show off our coolness.

Meisha. Fresh after a very nice rappel. She came down from up where the light is shining through. I took some really amazing shots of her coming down, but alas, it was too dark and they didn't turn out :(

This is Kevan again. He standing found the only patch of sunshine and is desparately trying to warm up. That water was seriously cold.

This is the last rappel out of the 6 or so (can't quite remember) that we did. It was awesome. 80 foot freefall into a really cool cavern. I wish I would have taken some pics from the top. You're literally coming of the top blind and don't see what you coming in to until you drop in.

Here's Meisha again. Exhibiting her amazing rappelling skills.

Me. Looking very excited. The hike out was not nearly as fun and exciting. Still, some very cool scenery and I picked up a sweet sunburn on my neck.

That's it. Thanks for looking =}

Namaste.

Happy (LATE) Mother's Day.

I drew (or painted or manipulated or discombobulated or something) this picture and framed it for my Mom for Mother's Day. I know it's a little late, but hey, we just saw her last weekend and gave it to her then so it's ok, right? Right.

WOOD. Watch. Now. Yes. You.

Found this video today. Seriously...... frickin'...... awesome.
(Don't forget to turn my blog's music player off before you watch it. It might be an all-too-interesting meshy montage of music).

Enjoy.

The Vibram Experiments - Part 2 - Angel's Landing

Hey there everybody! I'm back with another grand adventure! This morning I decided to put my new goofy shoes to the test and hike Angel's Landing in Zion. If you got too scared by the rappelling pics, you might want to stop scrolling - Dallin, you might to triple unpeel you eye lids. Without further delay, here are some cheesy cell phone (didn't bring the good camera) pics for you eye balls to feast upon:

Here's what Angel's Landing looks like from the ground

Looking off a little more than half way up.

Taking a sit and chill break just a little before the top.

A view looking back on were I'd come from (you hike right along the ridge next to the cliff).

Here it is! The top! (insert ominous choir sounds here)

Ridiculous self portrait attempt #1 (Unsuccessful)

Ridiculous self portrait attempt #2 (Semi-successful)

Looking over the edge from the top.

Some nice European girls played "You take my picture, I'll take yours." with me. This is the result.

You made it! And you're in one piece. You didn't fall! You and I are now both better people.

And there you have it! The thrills, the chills, the smiles, the feet. Thanks for coming along with me on the pictorial reenactment. I sure have had fun. How about you?

P.S.- I did the whole hike in 2.5 hours (total up and down). I share this fact with you because it makes me feel special. And hardcore. And..... I guess that's it.

The Vibram Experiments - Part 1 - Rappelling

So I'm planning on doing a canyoneering hike in Kolob Canyon in a few months with Kevan (a coworker of mine). It will consist of rappelling down waterfalls, jumping off cliffs, swimming, lots of hiking and a rope climb up a 400 foot cliff to get out. Exciting much? Yes.

Well Kevan invited us to do a practice run at Red Cliffs today and I thought it would be the perfect opportunity for us to test out our new Vibrams (funky monkey toe shoes). All I can say is that they are fantastic! They grip the rocks unbelievably well and really make it fun.

And guess what? We took pictures! Go figure. Here they are. Look at them. Now. If you're not scared.Me on top of a cliff. Do I look good?

Here I go.

Aaaawwww. Look at Meisha in here funky monkey feet. :)

She's so hardcore. Notice the little people standing on the road below. It give a good idea of how high we were.

Meisha. Workin' it like a pro.

Hey! This is fun? Who woulda thought?

Still so hardcore.

About 2/3 of the way down.

Did I just come down that?

Practicing the rope climb. I was tired after 10 feet. On the big hike I get to do 400. Workout time anyone?

Trying to look like a pro rock climber. Did it work?

That's it. Thanks for looking.

4 AM Rant?

I would.

If I could.

But I'm tired.

So I'm going to bed.

This is all you get.

Good night.

Or morning?

:P

PLUS:

Check out the band playing on my playlist.

They're called Agalloch.

I like em.

However,

If you're going to listen to the song,

You must have at least a 9 minute attention span.

OR

You must open a new tab and allow the song to play

While you sooth your ADD.

With me.

And the song.

Don't worry.

We'll get through it together.

It'll be OK.

Manwaring Family Weekend!

Free website - Wix.com

The Ponchos Were My Favorite

So I had a birthday and got older. In honor of the annual celebration of the day of my birth, Meisha and I spent a lovely afternoon in Zion. I thought I'd share a few of those wonderful memories with you here. But first, we also took a (very) quick visit to Snow Canyon on Sunday. Those pics come first. Be patient. There aren't too many. Then you get to enjoy staring at the wholesome goodness that was our Zion birthday happy fun time afternoon.

Petrified Sand Dunes in Snow Canyon. You can walk all over them. Hehe.

Meisha smiling =)

After Meisha smiled, she decided she didn't want to anymore.

But I found an egg. This made everything better. It had 2 quarters (50 cents) in it. I kept the quarters. I actually found a few more eggs with some delicious chocolate candies in them. I left them so someone else could enjoy the chocolates. I decided not to be greedy and only enjoy the money.

As a result of my generosity, the Karma Gods bestowed upon me the finding of another great gift- a beautiful Barbie comb. I beautified my hair and left this for another happy stranger to find as well. Ah, I love me some good karma.

and now....

the moment you've been waiting for...

Zion.

We started off by walking down a trail. My mom gave us directions, but either they weren't any good, or we (I) can't take directions. Either way we found some neat things on the trail. I've decided to share some of those things in the pictures below. Read on.

I'm not sure if you would call the thing I have for trees a fetish or an obsession. By the dictionary defintion, I guess I would say obsession.

Meisha took a moment to look at the big rocks. I took a moment to take her picture.

Then I decided to test out the timer function on the camera. Looks like it worked.

I found a creepy little tree/bush off the side of the trail. I decided that the best thing to do with this creepy tree/bush was to crouch under it and look creepy. So I did.

We were both feeling quite poopy, and almost left. We decided instead to suck it up and go hike Emerald Pools. It's a good thing we did. Things got better from there.

It's hard to look gansta and kissy-faced all at the same time, but somehow we pulled it off.

This is us... looking super cool under a waterfall at Lower Emerald Pools.

This is what Meisha looks like when she takes a break.

This is what I look like when I take a break.

So I was in the process of taking a super awesome ominous dark and cloudy cliff action picture when a rain drop came along and screwed it all up.

I decided to show Meisha "My Spot" at the Middle Emerald Pools. We decided it was prime time for yet another photo opportunity.

This is the trail leading to The Grotto. We were going to do that hike too, but we decided that we'd save it for another trip. We got an annual pass and didn't want to burn up all the good hikes too quickly =)

This is us... standing in the rain.

This is me... standing on a tree. As happy as can be. Can't you see?

Meisha decided the best thing to do at this particular moment would be to show off her rainy hair-do. So she did. And I took a picture. Here it is. Do you like it? I do.

Then we hiked up to the Upper Emerald Pools. At these pools, water falls. It falls off of rocks. It lands on the ground. It gathers into a pool. The pool is green (or emerald). Now you know. Go there some day. See for yourself. Or don't. It's up to you.

In this picture we are standing atop a rather large cliff. Looking hardcore. Because we are. Hardcore. And then we hiked some more.

These people don't know it, but I snapped some super top secret cell phone pics of them. Because I loved their ponchos. There were lots of people who seemed to be very scared of the slight drizzle of rain coming down upon us. Maybe they thought it would get worse. Maybe they thought they just looked cool. Maybe there was a guy standing at the bottom of the trails with gold teeth and he would open up his trench coat to reveal a plethora of ponchos in all shapes, sizes and a variety of colors. Maybe this man made a lot of money from these unsuspecting tourists. Maybe he didn't. Maybe.

The ponchos were my favorite.
P.S. If this just wasn't enough fun for you, maybe you'll have fun looking at the --->ENTIRE ALBUM<--- from the day. (For those of you who need help, you have to click the words between the ---> and the <--- to go there. They're in red. You can't miss 'em. Try it. You'll have fun. It's better than Christmas.