Thanks For Meisha

Meisha, I wanted to let you know that you gave me butterflies. Yes, for the first time in a long time, YOU DID. It wasn't any big action that caused it, you just touched my hand. I don't think I realized how much of the last weekend we went without so much as touching hands until that very moment. I NEVER want to upset you to the point that we don't touch. I'm sorry. Truly. Sorry.

I've learned that I need to be thankful for my mistakes. If I didn't make them, I couldn't learn. I also think it's hard to learn from those mistakes if you're not thankful for the learning experience. Let's just say I haven't been thankful enough. I learned some very new very horrible feelings this weekend. I never thought I would be grateful to learn horrible feelings but I am.

I spent most of the weekend feeling sick and sad inside. I'm still learning to recognize feelings and connect with them, so I spent most of my time crying inside. I know tears don't belong on the inside and someday that will change. But when you fingers touched mine after such a long drought, my heart jumped. I felt all light headed and floaty (in a really, really good way). At that moment, I just wanted to hold you. I want to remember that feeling. I LOVED IT. I haven't been open to feeling it enough and I thank you for helping me to feel it.

I want to thank you for being you. You truly amaze me. We talk about the respect we have for people who stay true to themselves. I can't tell you how much I admire you for being that type of person. Don't ever change who you are, for me or anyone else. Thank you for your patience and thank you for your insight. I don't know how you do it, but you always see things for they way they really are. I always find myself caught up in a situation and thinking about it from the inside of the circle. You have a gift to observe from the outside of the circle and really approach things soundly and logically. I know that doesn't sound like it should be a turn-on, but for an overly-analytical bastard like myself, IT IS (weird, huh?).

Thank you for being my source of strength through the last several months. These are WITHOUT A DOUBT, the toughest times I have gone through in my life (I should probably quit saying that, because tougher times keep coming). I love that you help keep me on track when it comes to talking and thinking positively. IT HELPS, seriously. I really hope all the things I keep reading about tough times making people stronger are right, because I think we're going to be VERY STRONG and VERY SUCCESSFUL someday.

Again, THANK YOU for the butterflies. I needed them. Truly. Now it's my job to figure out how to give them back........

Love,